I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
