Where did you get a picture of my penis
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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