I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
