New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
