well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
