is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize