so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
