Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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