It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
