I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize