Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
