Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
