my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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