So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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