I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize