these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
someone owes me an orgasm
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
