We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
