I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
