Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
