We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
