Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
