so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
