peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
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