Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
