Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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