Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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