I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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