my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
