You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize