Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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