Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
