? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this just has baby written all over it
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
