is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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