East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
