eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
