Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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