I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
