I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize