i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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