He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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