Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
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