? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
