i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
