I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
