i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
