Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
