the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
