Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
