im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
