i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
