You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
