I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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