I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I can text with my tongue
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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