If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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