thus making me awesome and them whores
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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