just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
