it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
