He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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