we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
