pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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