Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
