apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We need to rekindle our bromance
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize