Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
