If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
