her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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