I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
