Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You ruined the universe
I enjoy the company of your penis
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
