Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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